


Emotional Outburst

by Nicolaruth27



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: F/F, Hidden Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-08
Updated: 2015-10-29
Packaged: 2018-04-13 15:59:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4528266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nicolaruth27/pseuds/Nicolaruth27
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It happened the same way every time. Jane never learned and Angela never listened. She shouldn't have blown up at her Ma like that in the middle of the café but the woman just didn't know when to quit. One shot originally posted on Tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It happened the same way every time. Jane never learned and Angela never listened.

 

Like poking a large bear, Angela efficiently pushed all of Jane’s buttons in a way that only the interfering, overbearing matriarch could accomplish. She meant well, but that only seemed to make it worse for Jane somehow. She jabbed mercilessly at the grizzly younger Rizzoli and then wondered aloud at what on earth could have angered her only daughter so much. Her lack of self awareness always managed to hit on Jane’s last nerve, causing her temper to skyrocket. Angela recoiled at Jane’s resulting outburst, as if the unreasonably grouchy bear had just verbally pawed her across the face. Jane hated herself for doing it almost as much as she hated that her mother couldn’t just leave well alone.

 

oOo

 

It was Monday morning and it had happened again, at work of all places.

 

She shouldn’t have blown up at her Ma like that in the middle of the café but the woman just didn’t know when to quit. Not content with nagging _all_ weekend about the _very handsome_ new Human Resources Manager who’d be _perfect for her_ , Angela had started in again before Jane had even put creamer in her first coffee of the day. Their raised voices and animated hand gestures had drawn the attention of a crowd, but after suffering the showdown for several minutes it was the tearful break in Jane’s own voice that had finally forced her to flee.

 

Avoiding the confines of the elevator, her cheeks burning with residual embarrassment, the detective trudged slowly up the stairwell.

Time and again, Jane pleaded with Angela to stay out of her personal life but it was pointless. Jane’s inability to verbalise her romantic aspirations was fairly standard but her burgeoning tears were new. Angela had succeeded in pushing her just that little bit further this time.

 

She paused on the landing between flights and regarded her lacklustre and lukewarm drink with sadness. What was the point of any of it? Even her appetite for her coffee was gone. If only she’d met Maura at Boston Joe’s on the way in… She would have avoided the scene in the café, she’d have a far superior cup of coffee in hand right now, and she’d damn well want to drink it.

 

Sighing heavily, she took another second to pull herself together, breathing deeply and stuffing her emotions back down. It hurt to confine them but the dull ache that resulted in her chest was something she had gotten used to. She was almost ready to head for the bullpen when she heard Angela calling her name.

 

Jane’s pulse quickened and her ire returned in an instant. She didn’t want to feel this way but her control was fast slipping away; she felt like an ounce more provocation might make her explode. Skipping up the stairs two at a time, Jane cleared the last few flights quickly and quietly, ignoring her mother’s plaintive calls for her to come back and talk.

 

The detective was free and clear right up until her toe caught the very last riser. She face-planted onto the landing, grazing her chin on the concrete and crushing her coffee cup underneath her.

 

“Ooompf. OW, SHIT!”

 

Angela panicked, “Jane! Jane? Are you okay?”

 

Her mother’s hurried footsteps climbed closer as the detective groaned and picked herself up. Her neck and chest were wet, her white button-up shirt ruined by a dripping, brown stain. She shook moisture from her hands and kicked the squashed cardboard cup against the wall. “Goddammit.”

 

Jane was hunched over, standing in a puddle and holding her jaw when Angela rounded the bottom of the final flight of stairs. “What happened?!” she screeched, setting Jane’s teeth on edge. “You’re bleeding!”

 

Jane batted her mother’s hands away from her face and mumbled, “I’m fine.”

 

“How on earth…?” Angela breathed, pulling at the placket of Jane’s shirt with her fingers. “Look at the state of you!”

 

Batting again more forcefully and taking a step back, Jane bit, “Will you stop! I said I’m fine.”

 

Feeling the sting from Jane’s tone, Angela snapped, “What’s gotten into you today?”

 

“What’s gotten –?“ Jane shook her head and laughed bitterly. She was dangerously close to saying something she would likely regret. It seemed better to bite her tongue before anger took over but she couldn’t contain a low growl. She turned and swung open the stairwell door, hiding her screwed up face from view before grinding out, “I tripped. No big deal.”

 

Angela followed as the detective stalked into the bullpen, “Serves you right for running away from your mother.”

 

Jane unclipped her soggy cellphone from its holster and slammed it down on her desk. “What are you doing following me up here anyway? Shouldn’t you be in the café serving that terrible coffee?”

 

With her hands on her hips, Angela snipped, “I’m not confined to the café, y’know. I can access almost every part of this building.”

 

Jane sat down at her desk and scoffed spitefully. “Yeah, well… Access can be revoked.” The thinly-veiled threat paired with a single raised eyebrow didn’t deter the sassy older woman.

 

Angela didn’t care who was listening and looked around at several detectives, including a wide-eyed Vince Korsak, as she ranted, “Oh really? And then where would you be without me and my mobile muffin cart, huh? Starving, that’s what. Little Miss ‘I haven’t got time for breakfast’.”

 

Jane couldn’t take much more. It was one thing to belittle her at home, or in Maura’s home, but it was entirely different doing it in front of her colleagues. She wanted this over, or for the floor to open up and swallow her, whichever came first. “That’s right. I’m a busy woman. So why don’t you go back downstairs. I have work to do.”

 

“No!”

 

Jane was livid. “Get out!”

 

“No. Not until you tell me what _that_ was all about before?”

 

“ _THAT_ …” she spat, unable to control the ferocity of her response. Now she was the one who didn’t care who could hear them. She’d reached her absolute limit. “That was about _you_ getting on my case, _again_ , for being single, it was about _you_ treating me like crap, because I don’t have a ring on my finger and a man on my arm. That was about _you_ trying to dictate _my_ love life by setting me up with every single guy you come across!”

 

“But Jane, it wouldn’t hurt to -”

 

Jane had heard this same argument over and over again. “No, it _wouldn’t_ hurt… to go on a date, to see what might happen. But that’s just it, Ma… I don’t want to find out! So you just need to stop.”

 

“But -”

 

“ _But_ nothing.” It felt good to stand up for herself, even if she figured Angela would take no notice and start back up again in a week’s time. She jabbed an index finger onto the desk as she spoke, “I. Don’t. Need you. To set me. Up. Again!”

 

Angela stood quietly beside Barry’s desk, holding her daughter’s steely gaze.

 

Jane thought that might have been the end of it and after a second or two she turned away to start working.

 

But Angela didn’t leave. Instead the woman just breathed a deep, weary sigh and thrust her pleading hands once more toward her daughter. “I just don’t understand, Jane. I want you to be happy, why is that so hard to -”

 

“BECAUSE I LOVE MAURA!” Jane yelled, shoving her chair backwards as she stood, plunging the room into silence. Defeated and broken, Jane tears came easily as her voice wavered. “I love Maura, okay... I’m in love with her.”

 

“Oh…” Angela’s eyes were glassy and she reached out again. “Honey -”

 

Jane sniffled and backed away. “Don’t, Ma.”

 

Everything was so clear now. No wonder Jane was upset. How had she not seen it? Angela took a step forward. “I didn’t – I didn’t know.”

 

Angela didn’t know because Jane hadn’t told her, but to the detective that was almost entirely beside the point. Jane hadn’t told anyone, hadn’t intended to ever admit it. Still furious and burning three shades of red, Jane snatched her car keys from her desk drawer and made to leave. At least with a ruined shirt and a bloody chin she had a valid reason for running away again. No one needed to see her like this. She could cry in private and bring her humiliation to an end.

 

Everyone in the bullpen was staring at her as she turned abruptly and froze. Everyone including the Medical Examiner, who was stood just inside the doorway, holding a large cup of coffee adorned with Jane’s name, silent tears rolling down her face.


	2. Chapter 2

She wanted to run away, as fast as her heels would carry her, but she was hemmed in.

 

_“What the hell is her problem, Maura?!”_

_“You have to fix it, Maura.”_

_“Are you going to go after her, Maura?”_

_“For heaven’s sake, say something, Maura!”_

 

There was too much noise. She couldn’t think. So many questions, many of them her own, piled up on top of silent thought, confounding her. Why  _hadn’t_  she left the room yet?

 

A ring of bodies suffocated her, gesturing animatedly as the noisy barrage blended with audible mutterings from further around the room, forming one continuous ear-splitting din.

 

_“Make your private life everyone’s business, why dontcha!”_

_“Ha. I always knew she was gay.”_

_“Can we have one perfectly good morning not ruined by women’s drama?!”_

_“Oi oi! Has she used the cuffs on you yet, Doc?”_

 

It was all she could do not to launch both cups of coffee she held across the room like pitched fastballs. As it was, she turned abruptly and slammed them down onto the nearest desk.

 

Breathing hard, she forced herself not to let the burning anger that raged within overcome her usually steady temperament. Korsak and Frost might have seen her blow up once or twice before but that was different, felt like a lifetime ago.

 

The room was filled with familiar and unfamiliar faces, busy as usual for the morning shift. Some she could name and others she could not. Some still talked about her in hushed tones, whispered and teased behind her back. Some people in this room didn’t know her well at all. She wouldn’t give them the wrong impression, didn’t want to give the likes of Crowe the satisfaction.

 

There was a long, silent moment in which she could sense every pair of eyes burning into her back, staring at the expected car crash, waiting for an outburst. But then Korsak’s kind voice broke the spell, bringing her eyes up from the floor, and pushing her heart past pounding.

 

“You didn’t know, did you?”

 

“Oh honey,” Angela whispered, her own eyes still wet from Jane’s revelation and abrupt exit.

 

Maura shook her head. “No,” she sniffed, still hiding her face.

 

“Can we do anything to help?” Korsak asked softly as Angela nodded her agreement to meddling.

 

“No,” she repeated, turning to face them.

 

The Doctor’s face was a picture of resolve as she forcibly pulled herself together. Her mother’s British ‘stiff upper lip’ had been a source of annoyance on occasion but she was thankful for her inheritance of it. Maura was very proud of her ability to muster false courage.

 

“Please... let me deal with it.” She focused her attention on Angela, “Please?”

 

The elder Rizzoli visibly softened. “Okay, honey.”

 

Maura turned and left without another word, and as she hurried to the elevator she could hear the sounds of a room afire once more with excitement and scandal. The rumor mill and gossip mongers would be unbearable for the foreseeable future.

 

A terrible bubbling anxiety descended into Maura’s stomach and twisted her gut. She cringed at the realization that Jane would have heard this exact same furore as she fled. Not good.

 

If only she hadn't stopped for coffee this morning, there'd have been no reason to enter the bullpen. No bearing witness to the one thing she had always suspected simmered under the surface of her best friend's skin but had decided not to address. No hearing it breathed into furious existence, as if it were some unwanted burden, a painful thorn in Jane's side, or perhaps an unsightly scar that she didn't care to look upon.

 

With it out in the open, her own heart's desire had roared aflame, burning her insides with hope. A hope that was quickly snuffed out by Jane's departure. She knew Jane was inclined to run, expected it as she held her breath, but it still stung. 

 

Maura refused to go chasing Jane all over Boston. She suspected the detective was probably headed to her car for a change of clothes, or maybe back to her apartment so she could switch out her shirt and take care of her injury... She shook herself. It didn't matter where Jane was, she hadn't done anything wrong and therefore Jane was going to have to come to her when she was good and ready. Maura just hoped that would be sooner rather than later.

 

She hustled through the corridors of BPD, throwing a tight polite smile at anyone who passed her, in no mood to stop and chat. Anger built as the click of her heels drummed out a determined march. The revelation was good news in essence, so why wasn't she happier?

 

The delivery left a lot to be desired, it certainly wasn't the romantic declaration she'd had dreams about and, though she could care less about idle office gossip, her cheeks burned hot underneath what felt like a neon sign flashing above her head. _She doesn't_ want _to love me_  it said, pulsing, its thrumming aura almost tangible, surrounding her in a bubble of disappointment. 

 

Quietly seething, Maura stormed into the cafe intent on replacing the perfectly good coffee she had put down and forgotten about upstairs. She should head straight to her office downstairs she chided as she took a seat. She should get to work and do something productive, take her mind off things.

 

Not _things_. Jane.

 

And yet the empty table with its perfect view of the main entrance held her captive. _Stay,_ it whispered. _Wait for her._

 

oOo

Three hours. It took three of the longest hours of her adult life for Jane to return.

As the morning hour had crept onward, and the cafe’s breakfast rush had turned to those grabbing an early lunch, Maura had sat alone. Stewing.

Jane waltzed in through the main door, all hunched shoulders and head hung low and Maura bolted from her chair. She muttered apologies as she hustled past body after body, teetering on her toes, trying to keep her eyes on the tallest, darkest head in the crowd.

“Jane,” she called, faking a tone far more casual than she felt.

But the detective blended well into the crowd, moving easily through the bustling throng of people in the foyer.

“Jane!” she tried again, her eyes having lost their target but her feet heading for the elevator bank on a hunch.

As one particularly obstinate bear of a man blocked her path and refused to move, she side-stepped and caught a glimpse of raven curls by the far wall. She planted her feet and huffed a deep sigh; this wasn’t turning out like any theoretical scenario she’d mentally worked through during her wait and she felt angry as it dawned on her she was clearly chasing Jane when she’d sworn to herself she wouldn’t.

Why were people so frustratingly unpredictable? Every planned word, every rehearsed line skittered from her mind like a dropped bag of marbles. She didn’t understand how Jane could treat her like this, essentially the same as everyone else. She thought they were different, thought they had... something. Being deliberately ignored hurt more than she’d care to admit.

Tears swelled as the opening elevator dinged and she couldn’t stop herself from shouting, “Jane Clementine Rizzoli, you stop and talk to me right now!”

It was like freezing time as all movement around her slowed to a stop. A clear line of sight formed in the crowd from her to the detective, like a parting of the waves, and she gasped in horror at her impulsive action.

Static and mid-stride, the detective seemed for a second to be under the same spell but then a boot landed and she turned. It was slow and dangerous and Maura’s only thought was _oh god._

Suddenly the odds she’d calculated of this going well were slashed, underlined by Jane’s sharply raised eyebrow and clenched jaw.

“Did you just...” the brunette grumbled, glaringly unimpressed.

The middle name had always been her friend’s Achilles heel and Maura had just instinctively gone in for the kill. “Yes,” she nodded, clasping her hands in front of her and lifting her chin in defiance. “I’m – I’m sorry.”

She wasn’t sorry that it had worked, but the discomfort she now felt at their audience of staring eyes was the only thing that prevented itchy hives from crawling up her neck. She was sorry about that. “But -”

“But nothing, Maura,” Jane snipped, approaching swiftly and lowering her voice. “I’ve had _the_ worst morning ever, feeling like a bug under a microscope, _again_ , is really the last thing I need right now. What happened upstairs was – was...”

Dark eyes were lowered in embarrassment as Jane tried valiantly to cover her earlier admission with ridiculous excuses.

“... it was – y’know what, I hadn’t slept right and with Ma badgering me I just -”

“You said you loved me,” Maura pointed out sharply, offended that Jane would even attempt to twist what she had witnessed with her own eyes. Nothing could dissuade the doctor. The evidence didn’t lie.

With an impatient sigh, Jane let a hand fall against her thigh. “I _do_ love you, Maura, I’m sure I’ve told you that before. You’re my best friend. Friends can... love each other without it meaning – It doesn’t have to mean -”

Before she knew what she was doing Maura had stepped in and cut off the brunette’s rambling with her lips.

Closing her eyes and cupping Jane’s face, a ripple of murmured gasps from their spectators seemed to emphasize the prickle of raised hairs on her flesh as she surprised them both with a kiss.

Her heart had never raced this fast for anyone else, pumping heat and fear through her veins in swift staccato. When the doctor pressed ever closer she was certain Jane would feel it like fists thumping against her chest, beating the rhythm of a long-unrequited love song, just like it had when Jane was shot, when she went missing or was kidnapped, and every single time she had sat a little too close on Maura’s couch.

She only began to calm when Jane pressed back.

There was an almost inaudible moan from the brunette and Maura found herself suddenly wrapped up in long arms, a warm hand pressed against her lower back as another slid up the back of her neck into her hair.

“But I love you, too,” she whispered, her voice breaking as greedy lips smothered her words and a passionate tongue stole her breath.

Maura knew the spectators remained, and yet if her senses were to be trusted there was only Jane. From the scent of her skin, to the warmth of her body, even the delicate tickle of the downy hairs on her cheek from each exhale through Jane’s nose was captivating.

She could have stayed in Jane’s embrace forever but it stopped just as abruptly as it began when a rush of raucous applause and a scattering of high-pitched whoops, hollers and wolf-whistles pricked their bubble like a sharp pin.

Flushed and breathless and with her eyes pinned to the floor, Jane took a step back. It was all Maura could do not to sob as panic suddenly took over. _Please don’t run,_ she begged, reaching out a hand before thinking better of it, nervously withdrawing.

Someone cleared their throat, drawing both women’s attention and reanimating the crowd to continue about their own business.

“As much as we all love a good scene or two, I’m assuming you’ll get _some_ work done today, Detective?”

“Yes, Sir,” the brunette nodded as her Lieutenant stepped closer.

“Good. First, I suggest you get _that_ looked at properly,” he said, his tone brooking no argument as his eyes flicked down to the wound on her chin. She fought a smirk as he kindly added, “Maybe Dr. Isles can help you with that.”

“Yes, Sir,” she repeated quietly.

“I expect to see you upstairs in fifteen minutes.” He turned to leave, gracing the doctor with a nod before heading for the cafe. “Maura.”

“Thank you, Lieutenant,” she offered, grateful that neither had received a serious reprimand. Her eyes were quick to seek out Jane, finding her friend staring straight back. “Jane -” she tried, trembling, but the brunette stopped her with a shake of her head.

A wide smile developed and Jane seemed to relax as she let out a deep sigh. Another elevator dinged open behind them and she held out a hand. “May I accompany you to your office, Dr. Isles?”

Maura couldn’t prevent the grin that spread across her face as she took the offered hand and the two women stepped into the elevator, holding onto one another.

Pushing the button for Maura’s floor, Jane said, “I really wish I could start this day over.” She turned to face the doctor, “Do it differently, y’know.”

Today was undoubtedly a milestone, a turning point in their relationship and, though sudden and surprising, it was certainly a welcome and happy development. “What would you do differently?” Maura purred as Jane pulled them together again, lips ghosting over hers as the elevator doors closed.

“I could probably never stop myself from falling,” the brunette husked, eyes slightly glazed with introspection, before she shook herself out of the memories and double-meaning.

Pinned in place by a burning gaze that heated her every cell, Maura could have swooned as Jane breathed passion into her waiting mouth.

“But I’d _start_ with this...”


End file.
